State of New Jersey needs to go on a diet

Do you want to hear a sad story? My name is New Jersey. I'm in very bad health. So I went to the doctor. He said, "You are indeed in very bad health. The problem is obesity - all that fat is killing you. If you don't reduce, you won't have much time left."

So I took my doctor's advice. "Reduce," he said. So I cut off my right hand. I was a few pounds lighter, but my health didn't improve. I needed to reduce more, so I cut off my left leg. It made traveling more difficult, but I had reduced by a few more pounds. It still didn't help - my health only got worse.

I went back to the doctor and said, "I've reduced my weight, but my health is still bad. You gave me bad advice." The doctor replied, "You won't improve until you get rid of the excess fat." I said to him, "But that's so hard. It's been there so long and I'm so used to it, I don't think I can make the difficult choices to eliminate the fat."

The doctor looked at me, frowned, and said, "You're the one who's responsible for your health. Unless you can muster up the courage to make the tough choices necessary to rid yourself of that fat, your future is very grim. Indeed, disaster is not far down the road."

Story translation - New Jersey: the governor and state Legislature. The doctor: the taxpayers. Right hand: state parks, Agriculture Department, etc. Left leg: toll roads, etc. The fat should be obvious. It's all the goodies the greedies consume at the public trough.

New Jersey, please get rid of the fat and begin to make the right choices no matter how tough they are. We ain't got that much time left.

John Kokinda

Holmdel